When I hit a small patch of snow, It was a relief to feel the soft crunch beneath my feet. Once I stopped in a place to take a drink and remember being grateful that the wind was calm because of the sheer drop off just a few feet away. Near the top of the ridge, I passed the false summit and saw the real summit, so close, I had to push forward.

It was such a wonderful feeling of accomplishment when I reached the summit. For a while, I enjoyed the solitude of being the only one there. As I was getting ready to continue on to Sunshine Peak, two girls arrived at the top. When I asked them if they were going to Sunshine Peak, they looked at me a little crazy and said, “nope.” In my mind, I thought how could you not go to Sunshine Peak? You’re right here. It’s only 1.5 miles away. Why not try to summit both in one day?

I descended down Redcloud and followed the trail to the right of the ridge on my way to Sunshine Peak. Out in the distance, was a mountain that I thought was Sunshine, but it wasn’t until I got closer that I realized I was wrong.  There was a mountain between these two peaks! And Sunshine Peak was a lot further away, blocked from my view by this unnamed mountain.

As I looked out and found each mountain that I had been on top of in the last couple of days, I took some time to reflect on each journey and what I had done. For me, Sunshine Peak had the most stunning views of the four mountains.

As I was descending carefully down Sunshine Peak, I began to wonder if I was going to make it. In my mind, there was no way I could NOT get down the mountain, but every part of me was breaking down: my mind, my body, and my spirit. Like a wave, I felt a paralyzing fear pass through me. It’s a feeling I’ve encountered only a few times in my dreams, in that last moment of breath, knowing my life is coming to an end.

A feeling of aloneness, with an overwhelming despair filling my body. I was done. I wanted to stop. I just didn’t want to go anymore. Every part of my body was sore, my feet hurt, my knees hurt. But inside, I knew I could not stop, I had to keep going. I had to keep moving.

I started to feel nervous about running out of time and being too slow. My stride was small with my feet moving at a snail’s pace. I did not want to be in the dark on the mountain after sunset. I also noticed that some of the clouds were thickening and looking a little ominous, which is never a good sign when you are on the top of a mountain. When I thought about my journey back to Redcloud Peak, it was too overwhelming. It seemed hopeless. I could not even see Redcloud Peak. So I started to set small goals for myself.

I was so relieved and overjoyed when I made it back to Redcloud Peak. I let my body collapse next to the red rocks that had been piled up as a wind barrier. I took a moment to take off my pack and get a drink, but I knew that I must not linger, because the clouds which were once white and inviting were growing darker by the minute. When I looked up, I could see them swirling as they loomed over me, dense and dark, blanketing the light and taking with them the warmth of the sun.

I enjoyed sliding down the snow, but then came the steep, loose rocks. As I descended, my knees felt like they were going to give out beneath me. Using my trekking poles, I swiftly navigated my way down. Even the part that was questionable climbing up, I had no trouble finding the trail and knowing exactly where I needed to go to get down.

I continued to pick out rocks and landmarks to make small goals for myself. Almost like checkpoints to reach as I raced down the mountain. The clouds continued to shift and dance above me as if they were playing a game, threatening to attack one minute, and the next, allowing the sun to peek through. I felt such a relief when I reached the top of the basin. I knew that the next part of the trail would be easier on my feet and the farther down I was on the mountain, the safer it would be if the storm grew stronger.

I saw a marmot as I descended through the basin. And most of the time, when a marmot sees you, they run away. This one did not budge. He had something to eat, but was aware of my presence. It was a joyful distraction as I walked up to him and took his picture. I must have stayed too long, because eventually he did run away. The weather in the mountains was ever-changing, like a cat going back and forth, trying to decide whether it’s coming or going.

Once the graupel stopped, the sun came out, and then a few minutes later, the dark clouds would once again threaten me with their presence as a reminder of their power.

I continued to focus ahead and set small goals for my whole descent down the rest of the mountain. I couldn’t give up. I knew that I was going to make it. I knew I could pull through, but I still had miles ahead of me to get back to the car.

After I left the basin, the trail turned to a loose rock, where with every step of the way, the pain deepened in my foot and my knees felt like they were going to buckle beneath me.

I was so thankful when I reached the tree cover because I knew it was a much safer place if the storm intensified, and I also knew that I was on my last mile. Eventually it began to rain, so I took out my jacket and put it on. It had accompanied me on every peak unused until now.

Finally, I saw the trail box and signed myself out. I continued a bit further, barely able to walk through the last of the tree cover. When I saw the car, it was such a wonderful, welcomed sight.

As I emerged from the woods, I laughed a little as I pictured myself as an elderly woman hobbling out of the forest with the assistance of two canes, since I was relying on my trekking poles to carry most of my weight. But I did it! I made it down these two mountains!

We all have summits when we are up and life is going well. But it’s important to remember that when we are down, it’s through that suffering we become stronger and find out what we are truly made of. Sometimes we might not realize our potential until we go through those challenges. We have to struggle through the storm because it will eventually end and the sun will shine again.

When the body wants to quit, it’s our mind and inner strength that will pull us through life’s difficulties. And when the difficulties seem overwhelming or too large to handle, we can break them down and set smaller goals that are more achievable. Just make it to the next rock, take that first step, and keep moving forward.